With thirteen school days remaining on my sixteenth year of teaching, I have to reflect on a conversation with a parent today. Once again, apples do not fall far from the parental tree.
My students are completely taken with Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Whenever kids ask where on the shelf the Wimpy Kid books are, I tell them to look in the section titled "Wishful Thinking." Some get the joke. Most do not. These books never make it to the shelf. Some of them are pretty dog-eared and scuffed. In truth, I would rather see a book beat up and well-read than pristine and never leaving the shelf. One was returned today with the back cover ripped off. Since all copies of that title are currently checked out, I am sure to recover the cost from the kid who fails to turn in their copy.
The latest edition in the series, Cabin Fever, is so popular that I ordered six copies in a library binding. At 22 bucks a pop, these are much more expensive than the trade hardcover from Target. There is a waiting list of 150 kids to get these six copies. Many kids decided to buy their own copy. One, however, thought she could obtain a stolen copy from my library, write her name in it, and call it her own. Yes, crime does not pay and the book was found with her name on the inside cover and on the page side. One endpaper with the school stamp was ripped out, but the back cover was stamped, the barcode was still attached, and the spine label was intact. Due to this young lady's latest attempt at trying to gin my system, she now owes $76 in lost and damaged books.
This didn't deter her mother from trying to argue that her daughter should not pay for it.
Mom's argument was that her daughter did not steal the book. She received it from another third grader who told her he "won it in a drawing." Since it was another kid who stole the book in the first place, he should be the responsible party. I told her that the boy in question would never, in a million years, admit to stealing the book. I have absolutely no evidence - other than her daughter's story - that the boy stole the book. The evidence I DO have is HER name in it.
"Couldn't you just erase her name and take the book back?"
No, she has defaced the book and was in possession of stolen property.
"Twenty-two dollars seems like an awfully high price for a library book."
Considering it is a sewn and glued binding, with processing added at the distributor, that is about the running price.
"Could I just buy another copy at the store and give it to the library?"
No, the reason the book cost 22 bucks is because of the special binding and processing.
"She didn't know it was a library book. What if it came from the county library sale table?"
The girl KNEW it was a library book. It was identical to the one she asked to read IN the library and was told she could not check out because of the wait list. Secondly, it is a brand new book. It would not be in the discarded section of the public library. If it was, it would be stamped "No longer the property of St. Louis County Library.
"She's 8! How would she know what that means?"
"Ma'am," I said. "My niece is six and in kindergarten. She knows that a library book is not HER property to write in. Considering your daughter was in possession of the book with a library binding, a stamp on the back page, and TWO stickers which suggest it was a school library book, I find it hard to believe she 'didn't know' this was a library book."
"Well, I don't think she should pay for it because she didn't steal it."
I told her the saying "Possession is 9/10 of the law." The kid she allegedly received the book from is not exactly the most reputable child in school, and even if he wasn't, a basic amount of common sense would lead one to believe this was stolen property. If someone is pulled over and the cop says the car is stolen, does this preclude the driver from being arrested for possession of stolen property?
By now, she was running out of room to argue and admitted her daughter told her a complete fabrication. She was so grateful that I was able to give her "clarification."
The kid was already on the hook for 38 bucks in lost books from last year. I had been letting her check out one book at a time as an encouragement for her to read. If anything, I had been extraordinarily generous. I had even offered the child a chance to settle the past due account for 50 cents on the dollar. I kept hearing "Oh, my mama said she will get it to you." Now the deal is off the table.
My brother and I make quite a few jokes at our mother's expense. She is quirky and has questionable tastes in liquor. However, the woman IS ethical. I can not imagine Rob and I getting into trouble with school or the law and having Mom defend a lie or even lie on our behalf. Growing up in Vermont, we knew she had a morning meeting at 7:30 and if we missed the bus we were on our own to get to school. We also knew she would not give us a ride or call and excuse us. We were given a great deal of freedom but that freedom came with the caveat of not doing anything regretfully stupid.
Leaving the conversation, I did offer up a positive comment. I genuinely like the kid, and appreciate the fact that she loves coming the library. She drives me bananas at times but I realize that most kids can do that.
Very few children, I believe, are "bad seeds." Some are just mean, cruel people and there is no way around that. This kid is not a bad seed. She exhibits behaviors she learns at home. Manipulate, obfuscate, deny and wear people down until you get your way or until the other party gives in out of frustration. When I was younger, I might break something and Dad would ask "Jon, did you break this?" "No," I responded. "It broke."
Dad would ask me again, and I would eventually admit to breaking it. To my father, my admitting and taking ownership was more important than whatever cost the object held. Students have come to me ASKING to pay for a book that was destroyed by a baby sister or a dog and I have invariably reduced the price as a reward for being faithful and honest. I want them to learn that ethical behavior does have rewards. I like to think this is my father's teachings lived through my actions.
Once again, the lesson learned is that an ethical parent is a child's first and best teacher.
